OK, here's a fun one that I got off of another forum. What you do is you post whatever you want here, it doesn't have to be relevant to ANYTHING. It can be car-related or just plan b.s. I want to see how long we can keep it going and how funny we can make it. On the other forum, it was started in 2002 and is still going!

I will start it off:

So, basically I am stuck at work with nothing to do so I am making something to do.

I just farted and it smells just like the McDonald's 99c double cheeseburger(slider) I just ate!!!!


you did say anything :laughing:

Man, I just laid down the chili from last night, I think I clogged the toilet, damn double flushers.

mmmmmmmm chili. :banana:

Yeah my mom made it, it was awesome but my woman didn't like the smell I kept leaving behind.

could be worse, you could be dead :laughing:

speaking of the dead, I have a friend that is a funeral director and all weekend I got to "play with" dead bodies. move them from cot to cot and help embalm, what a freaky f@#kin job he has. I try to keep them alive and he wants them dead.

Necrophilia, eh? Was never my forte...

haha, didn't pound any of them (had the thought though) wow that joke made, even me, sick

I agree...pounding the dead is like pounding a blonde...in the end you get the same response...silence.

not necessarily. sometimes they are like a plate of spaghetti. they wiggle when you eat'em

But the dead person doesn't say stupid **** afterwards. I've always wanted to nail a redhead. :)

i love lamp

I beat dead horses.

chickenfucker

Yeah redheads are my weakness. I don't see many around here either...... :(

Yea, too bad I'm marrying a yooper blond in May.

Wow, between red heads and blondes I'd say it's an 'ole Southern good time ya'll! :clap:

Man I want to be working somewhere else right now.

A woman went to a Wal-Mart service counter and told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work. The clerk told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming,

"PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!!!"

The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager
in front of a growing crowd of customers.

The manager comes to the woman and asks,"Ma'am what's wrong?"


She explained the problem with the toaster, and he also told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and screamed,

"PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!"
and doing so draws an even bigger crowd!

In shock, the store manager pleads,
"Ma'am, why are you saying that?"

In a huff, the woman says,

"BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE
MY NIPPLES PINCHED
WHEN I'M BEING SCREWED!!"

The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded!!

I live in the land of the fake dutch, so there are no redheads around here.

can I call you chickenfucker?,, no only my friends can call me chickenfucker :haha:

A guy sitting at a bar stool notices a jar full of money on the bar. he says to the bartender. "what is that jar here for?" the bartender says, "if you can make my horse laugh I will give you that jar of money."

guy goes out back and returns with the horse laughing hysterically.

bartender says, "holy ****, well i'm a man of my word." as he gives the man the jar full of money.

the guy goes back to the same bar 2 days later and there is another jar of money. he says, "is that for someone who makes your horse laugh?" the bartender smiles and says, "nope this time someone has to make him cry." the man walks outside and returns with the horse bawling its eyes out. bartender curses and hands him the jar.

a week later the guy goes back to the same bar notices there are no jars of money. the bartender walks up to him and says, "I will give you $200 if you tell me how you made my horse laugh and cry."

the man says," well, to make your horse laugh I told him i had a bigger d1ck than him. to make him cry, I proved it