1. You can't drive in the rain
2. Your mechanic names a wing of his shop after you.
3. Your significant other is afraid to drive your car.
4. You are afraid to drive the car.
5. You spend more on insurance than rent/mortgage
6. You spend more on tires than food
7. You look in a state police car and see a pic of your car taped to the dash (BEEN THERE DONE THAT)
8. You throw your underwear in the garbage vs. the hamper
9. You have to go to the track to buy gas
10. You are tempted to wear your fire suite and helmet just to drive to work.
11. You arrive somewhere before you left.
12. You get pulled over doing 165 in a 35 and the cops let you off if they can "look" under the hood.
13. You remove a $5000 stereo to save 20 lbs.
14. Your face looks like you are riding in a NASA centrifuge when you drive your car
15. You need parachute braking
16. There is no possible way to sneak in or out driveway at 6am.
17. Your pets scramble for hiding spots when the garage door opens.
18. Fuel is delivered to your home in 55 gal. drums
19. You carry earplugs in your car
20. You find your side mirrors shake at 170 mph...

Bwuhahaha, there's some good ones in there.

21: Chuck Norris says your car is fast.

I wish; Scrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch"whoops, that time it was seriously an accident
"You have to drive it this way honey", "Its either go fast or go nowhere in this car!"